Healing Ourselves, Healing Our World
What’s In It For Me?
"What's in it for me?" has become a clichéd question when someone is considering a proposal or choosing a course of action. It clearly focuses on narrow self-interest, "looking out for No. 1." For many people, it is the default point of view. It is such a common perspective that it is often referred to by the awkward-to-pronounce acronym: "What's the WIIFM?" This perspective is selfish: I won't do anything for you without receiving a direct and tangible personal benefit. It represents receiving, or at an extreme, taking.
This very same acronym, WIIFM, takes on a whole different meaning when it is expanded as, "What's in it FROM me?" When we come to the realization that "our lives are about more than just us," we begin to move into a place where we are willing to make choices that do not result in immediate individual benefit, but instead contribute to the well-being of another or the community without any assurance of direct personal benefit. This perspective is selfless: I do for you with no regard for how it will impact me. It represents giving, or at an extreme, martyrdom.
There is a third or middle path, one that includes and transcends selfish and selfless. It is a place of both giving and receiving. We understand our individual place within a larger whole, and recognize that each of us has unique gifts and talents that the whole needs. And we discover a delicious paradox: offering our gifts selflessly for the benefit of the whole brings great personal, even selfish, joy. This state can best be described as self-ful, and it is a place of peaceful power. It is a place where giving becomes its own, best reward.
At our church, Unity of Woodinville, we bless our offering with these words: "Lovingly I give, joyfully I receive." Sometimes we reverse the words: "Joyfully I give, lovingly I receive." It works equally well both ways, reminding us that giving and receiving are both part of one natural flow.
Ultimately, we come to know that what's in it FOR me is precisely what's in it FROM me.
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Our Healing
Submitted by Cynthia Adcock on Wed, 2007-11-07 05:16.
Rich Henry's blog on his healing reminded me of a parallel experience starting last January. For causes still unknown, I experienced onset of extreme weakness, pain, and numbness in both arms, shoulders, and hands, in shifting locations. It was devastating. Varied diagnoses were ruled out, and progress is now being made in healing.
For me, what's been critical is understanding that I cannot--not now, but also not ever--"control" my world. I was losing the ability to manipulate and manage things, but life itself is always uncontrollable. It flows. All of us participate in its flow. I'm getting a gigantic lesson in ACCEPTING a LACK of control at the same time as I worked to restore my strength and flexibility and diminish pain and--I hope--find a more authentic way of participating in the flow of life. I am, gradually, experiencing that I cannot control my world, but can become more my self in this out-of-control world. I am hoping that this will ultimately help heal our world as well.
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Our Healing
Submitted by Cynthia Adcock on Wed, 2007-11-07 05:16.
Rich Henry's blog on his healing reminded me of a parallel experience starting last January. For causes still unknown, I experienced onset of extreme weakness, pain, and numbness in both arms, shoulders, and hands, in shifting locations. It was devastating. Varied diagnoses were ruled out, and progress is now being made in healing.
For me, what's been critical is understanding that I cannot--not now, but also not ever--"control" my world. I was losing the ability to manipulate and manage things, but life itself is always uncontrollable. It flows. All of us participate in its flow. I'm getting a gigantic lesson in ACCEPTING a LACK of control at the same time as I worked to restore my strength and flexibility and diminish pain and--I hope--find a more authentic way of participating in the flow of life. I am, gradually, experiencing that I cannot control my world, but can become more my self in this out-of-control world. I am hoping that this will ultimately help heal our world as well.